Mar 14, 2010

I got into a fight with that bitch Charmaine (again).  I meant to compliment her on looking less and less like a pile of old corn husks.  Instead, I said she looked exactly like a pile of old corn husks.

What can I say?  I slipped up.  Like this idiot.

Mar 13, 2010

For like 13 seconds, I wanted to do this guy.  Now I want to bring him home and feed him chili.  Then do him.  (Not for the easily queazed).

Mar 12, 2010

Nothing chaffs my hide more than crappy tunes.  The worst is jumping into Tara’s car for a spin and one of her stupid stations is playing a Toofer Tuesday of Air Supply.  Bleeearrrggggghhh.  That’s me throwing up all over my hands and smearing it all over the radio dial.

I like good music:

Mar 11, 2010

Know who makes me hot?  Taboo from the Black Eyed Peas.  He look angry.  I likee.  Is he black?  Is he Indian? Maybe he’s Blindian.  I’d like to Boom-Boom-Pow his choice chuck.

But, since he ain’t around, Max’ll do.  I’d do Max.  But I’ll be thinkin’ about Taboo.

Here’s some a-holes doing Karate.

Mar 10, 2010

I was at the SugarShack getting wild on the DDR board and this diesel dyke wanted to slow dance the arrows with me.  I tol’ her I don’t go that way.  Not with ladies that look like Bruce Willis (she did).  I’m not against porn lezzies, tho.  I’d go lipstick…

Also, how come ladies always play Peter Pan?

Mar 10, 2010

Yesterday, I wanted to watch Judge Millian and her People’s Court.  ‘Cuz I like to watch people blame other people for their own stupid sh*t.  But Marshy wanted to watch his BF, Anderson Pooper so he could lock and load.

I hate the news, but I love farts.  Yo Fox News:  Start farting it up.  I’ll watch.

Mar 9, 2010

When I’s in school, you know?  They made us watch all the stupid plays and whatnot.  Least plays are better than movies ‘cuz in the movies when you yell crap at the actors they don’t forget their lines.  I once got in a fist fight with some fruit named Pippin.

Okay, watch this: She blind.  She deaf.  She dumb.  Real dumb.

Mar 7, 2010

So, me and K snuck out ‘cuz I needed a pack of Newports and a tallboy, so lookout SnakMart.  I needs me a SlimJim, too!  Which I stoled.  Slid it up the back of my cutoffs so at the very least, if I gots pinched, I could claim it was a greasy meat ‘pon.  K was a scared li’l bitch.  I slapped her.

That was a bad nite. This is an example of a great nite.

Mar 5, 2010

Sup y’all…  T here.

Yeah, I got a blog.  So?  How else you gonna hear all the crap in my head you don’t care about?  Read it with your stupid eyes then talk about it with people, using that dumb hole in the middle of your fat face.

And chickity-check the links.  These make my mouth laugh til wet comes out my eyes.  People are f-ing morons.